Fusion & Merger—The Psychology of Bad Love and Good Love

In celebration of Elsom Cellars’ 20th Anniversary and our enduring commitment to nurturing good relationships with our community and each other, we’re having Donovan Bigelow return to Elsom to give a talk and Q & A (and if you’re lucky, maybe some more dream analysis!) on the fundamentals of fusion and merger in intimate relationships—otherwise known as Bad Love and Good Love—based on the article by Dr. Eeknoff.

In his words:
“Elsom Cellars is celebrating a significant anniversary this month and it occurred to me that it might be appropriate to talk with you all about how to keep celebrating your own anniversaries in the relationships you are in or want to be in.

Silly me, I confess to being somewhat of a romantic on this topic. I have almost never given up hope. And that is the focus of my presentation.

Until you have truly and deeply done the work of self exploration and know yourself (and your partner) well enough to sort out the inevitable difficulties, disagreements, and conflicts that plague every relationship, you may never feel secure.

I have a way of thinking about relationships and how our tendencies evolve out of our childhood relationships with our parents. Patterns tend to repeat generation after generation. That is initially a frightening idea given how few parents in the last few generations had any clue about what quality parenting actually looks like. What are we to do?

First, come and listen to a great story of how a 1994 paper by a then little known psychoanalyst-in-training, Judy Eekhoff, Ph.D., turned into the most important lecture I have ever given. A lecture, that by popular demand was repeated in every psychology class I ever taught. There were tears, shocking epiphanies, transformations, and new found resolve – in every class. I was told it saved lives and relationships. You are going to get the updated version with handouts!

And given how amazing the last audience was with their insightful (and challenging) questions and responses, I am very excited about taking this opportunity to take you all to a new level of relationship building with an eye towards experiencing many anniversaries to come.

(If you want to get a preview, you can review the original lecture (click here for part 1 & part 2), free for all, along with over 40 hours of graduate level lectures on all subjects psychoanalytical on my website.)”

Donovan R. Bigelow, J.D., LL.M., M.A.

www.DonovanBigelow.com